The Lincolnshire Bombers are...A BLAST!

I am the first one to admit that I love to talk...and especially about Roller Derby! I’m really proud to be able to say that because of my incessant Roller Derby prattle - on various internet forums and with my friends – I’ve spawned (by proxy) two brand new Roller Derby Leagues in the UK; The Bedford Bandits Roller Derby, and The Lincolnshire Bombers Roller Girls. It leaves me with a warm fuzzy glow :o)

On Saturday I travelled up to Lincoln to visit with my friends Emma (aka Sheza Payne) and Abi (aka Psycho Hose Rose), and meet the rest of the girls that form the LBRG. It was a long train journey and I was slightly worried that I’d get myself lost somewhere between Redditch (where I live) and Grantham (where Payne was picking me up from the station), but I braved it out and arrived at my destination with the minimum of stress! I was so relaxed in fact that I managed to bypass Payne waiting on the platform…she had to chase me up two flights of stairs and plant a slap on my ass before I even realised she was there! I’m such a muppet.

Our normal tattoo-talk was replaced with a near-on obsessive conversation about Roller Derby that lasted the entire journey home…and the rest of the weekend!! We were celebrating the birthday of one of the LBRG’s smallest refs, Lean Mean Skating Machine #H8, but in between eating curry and watching old movies we still managed to talk up our favorite sport for hours, as well as getting handy changing some wheels that didn’t want to be changed. As soon as the movie was over and the kids were in bed we stepped it up a notch...watching Roller Derby on TV til the wee small hours of the morning.

Practice was scheduled for 11am the next day, and we awoke bright and bleary-eyed, more than ready for some skating action! I was beginning to get worried as Psycho, Buxom Bruiser and Dolly Lephard (as well as Payne herself) were all warning me how hard I’d be expected to work…and about Payne’s punishments! I made sure that I was armed with plenty of cups of tea before I let them drag me out of the house and to the sports hall.

With a fear of squat-thrusts weighing firmly on my mind, I kitted up in seconds and was on the track in no time, revelling in the wonder of the smooth, fast floor…and thanking the Roller Derby Goddess for Sure-Grip Pushers!! As soon as we were warm and stretched the serious skating started, and for the next hour my wheels never once stopped turning. There was NO WAY I was going to fall prey to a punishment drill and I managed to find some previously untapped reserve of willpower. It was a real baptism of muscle-fire, but I managed it, and I think Payne was all the prouder of me for it!

Later on we got to practice some more fun drills that didn’t require us to skate for infinity…things like stops and falls, running on our toestops, trolley cart races and the like. It turns out I’ve forgotten how to stop again, and I might have to face the fact that my body can only handle so many skating skills…if I learn something new something old gets forgotten! Either that or I’m just not getting enough practice in recently!! I need to get me some outdoor training and SOON!

When our two hours was up and we were all sufficently drenched in sweat it was time to let up and go to the pub for a good old rollergirl takeover! Fourteen of us went for food in the end and so our only option was to steal a reserved table (not ours) and cause so much noise that our food was brought out in double-quick time. It seems that the Lincolnshire men favor Roller Derby attire (even going as far as following us round the leisure centre/car park/pub)…but some of the ladies didn’t seem so impressed at the bevvy of fishnet-clad legs that were wandering around the two-for-one! I really enjoyed getting to know the rest of the LBRG without worrying that I was going to have to do squat-thrusts as a payback…they’re a fab bunch of ladies and I can’t wait to skate with them again!!

Later on, I headed back to Payne’s house with her and Psycho where we spent yet more time discussing Roller Derby, planning skate events and watching Rollergirls on DVD. It was a brilliant weekend and I really didn’t want it to end, but eventually it was time to go catch my train. Unfortunately my journey back wasn’t so great and I spent most of it hanging round on train platforms watching snow fall and wishing there was some food around. Luckily, Mr Gory and I have some kind of psychic connection (at least that’s my story…his version is that he’s Omnipotent and can read my mind wherever I am) and he met me at the station before whisking me off to the late-night wonder that is Maccy D’s! He’s a good boy :o)

Sorry that the promised pictures aren’t accompanying this blog, but I managed to stop myself from purchasing the aforementioned shiny shiny camera…HOWEVER!…on my return to Redditch my will failed and off I went to buy it. I can’t help it, it’s an early birthday present to myself and I NEED it for my holiday next week!! Mr Gory’s whisking me and the puppy away to a little pink fairy cottage for my birthday and I CAN’T WAIT (you can tell I’m getting excited when the caps-lock comes on!)!

Gory out!