Under My Skin...and my non-fitness

So, here’s my second stab at the whole ‘exhibition blog’ thing. This time I’m doing the sensible thing and composing it in Word before I commit to the text box on blogger.

So! Friday night, Mr Gory and I were invited to the very special, VIP style opening night of Mandie Barber’s tattoo exhibition entitled ‘Under My Skin’, held at Kidderminster library til the 30th of August…



As we walked up through the library to the exhibition hall we were treated to display cabinets full of hand painted, tattoo inspired items by Mandie, and age-old tattoo machines, needles, cut-throat razors and the like…




…and once inside there’s a whole wall of tattoo history…



…photos of some of Mandie’s work, poetry by Jodie Calder and vintage flash…



…original paintings by both Mandie and Chris Barber…




…and a rogue’s gallery of tattoos. The photography group at the library had been trawling the streets of kiddiminster, stopping people with tattoos and asking them for their photo and the story behind their ink. I didn’t get a picture of this unfortunately, but you can see it on the shot of the exhibition hall, just over on the left…




It was a brilliant opening night, even if it did make me want more tattoos and several pieces of art from the paintings gallery…we spent the few hours that we were there sipping wine like posh people – well, some of us did anyway…Chris decided to cut out the middle-man that’s commonly known as ‘a glass’…



…We conversed about tattoos and art in general (and didn’t pose, no, not at all!…okay, maybe Matt and Mand did a little…)



…I unsuccessfully tried to take pictures of Matt without him knowing…



…Several people (Jodie in particular) were keen to show off their own body art…



…and Mandie was bestowed with flowers…



We’ll be back there again this Friday (the 22nd) to watch a live tattoo demonstration and a movie that’s based around the addictive nature of tattoos. Mandie’s going to be taking a needle to Jodie’s arm before we all sit down to watch the film, and the exhibition will be open for people to wander round. It’s going to be amazing! I’m going to be enticing as many friends along as possible!!

I’ve been planning many more ink-adventures since visiting Under my Skin last week too, and I’m sure it won’t be long before I can get another hit from Mr Gory. I’ve been thinking about getting my tummy tattooed, mainly because it keeps poking out from under my t-shirts and I’d like to see some colour there rather than just flab. I think I’ve managed to entice the boy to do it…he usually hates tattooing me because I have SO MANY ideas, but this time round I’ve picked something he actually wants to do! Watch this space for tummy-tatts!

In skating news, I’ve not managed to get back to the park for some more circular skating. I’m very sad about it but it’s only because I’ve been so busy either skating at practice, visiting exhibitions or going out for birthdays. This week I’ll make sure I get at least one go in! I know I need to get a lot fitter…I’m really suffering at the moment. I feel so tired all the time, and I’m sure that’s because I’ve been negelcting my fitness. I’ve been eating a tonne of crap and I’ve done hardly any proper exercise in ages. Ouija Broad lead our practice this Sunday just gone and I swear, I almost died.

One of the drills she decided on was a series of knee-falls while skating round the track. The idea was that when she blew the whistle we’d do a single knee fall, concentrating on keeping small, with just a few simple, but killer, rules. The first was that we should keep our hands on our helmets so that we weren’t tempted to use the floor to help us get up, and the second was that no-matter how long we’ve been getting up on our toestops, we should make sure that as we get up we’re planting our wheels steadily on the floor. I’m really bad for this…I ALWAYS get up using both my hands (usually on my knee so it’s not as bad as using the floor. At least I know my fingers are safe) and I ALWAYS get up on my toestop. My answer for this (and I have an answer for everything) is because I can get up quicker, steadier and I can launch myself into a run to gain my speed back up. Ouija also has an answer though, and she told me in no uncertain terms that if I get up like that in a bout it won’t be long before someone puts me back on the floor.

So, with a heavy heart (and even heavier legs) I did as I was told. Boy, I ache now…and it’s two whole days later. It was a really good drill though, and I’m feeling much better about getting up on wheels and duck-running to get my speed up, and I’m even getting used to doing a right knee-fall. My right leg doesn’t seem to want to do what I tell it to, and when I try and do a right knee-fall I inevitably end up doing a double knee-fall, but I’m very glad to say that things are improving!

I was slightly annoyed at myself with my 5 minute time trial as I only got in about 25 laps and I managed 29 at the last mid-weeker I attended, but we’ve got so many skaters now that the track is nothing short of packed when we run this drill. It’s incredibly hard to skate your absolute fastest when you’ve got to dodge and weave around all the newbies and basic skills skaters, but it really does help your agility when you’ve got to try and squidge yourself into spaces that didn’t exist before you made them! I actually saw myself in a jamming star as I darted between everyone, but I seriously need to kick my fitness into gear if that dream’s going to come true. At the moment I can’t see myself ever being able to catch back up with the pack to score points!!

*goes and eats a chocolate bar…or two*

The Lost Entry of this is PANTS!

I just wrote a HUGE blog and then clicked something by mistake and *POOF* it's gone into the ether.

GODDAMN!

See, this is why I always create my blog entries in word before pasting it into blogger...

I'll be back later to re-type it all...gahhhhh...I'm off to town for a coffee and a rant with Hustle'her!

Outdoor skating, why kneehigh socks are a rollergirl's best friend and visiting the Bandits

As I’ve said before…outdoor skating terrifies me and I don’t know why! In my newbie days I was the Queen of being unsteady and falling down so you think I’d have had enough practice by now! I think it’s just a lack of faith in myself and my feet, hopefully it won’t be long until I can glide along as confidently as I do on the smooth sports hall floor!

Luckily for me though, one of our local parks has a lovely circular path that’s pretty smooth so that was where we headed today to practice crossovers and get some clockwise skating in! Our plan was to meet at 6.30pm and, as sod’s law predicted, the rain started at twenty-five past as I was about to walk out of the door with my gear. We weren’t going to let the weather beat us though, and we decided to hide in a car and chat until there was a break in the sogginess, but we’d barely got our skates on before it started again. Nevermind! We figured that as the rain wasn’t that heavy we’d carry on til it got too slippery, and it kept breaking for sunshine anyway so the path stayed pretty much dry.

It was great! It’s on a slight hill so for half of the lap you’re speeding along with ease, and for the second half you’ve got to work really hard not to lose all the speed you’ve built up. It was a really nice surface and there were only a couple of small bumps, and even they were pretty smooth! I was hesitant to do crossovers at first, but the more I skated (and the drier the path became!) the easier they got. I definitely want to get some more practice in tomorrow, so it might be a good idea to put my MP3 player to good use and get some endurance training in!

It’s nice to be able to get some clockwise skating in too, and the length and roundess of the track mean it’s much easier to get comfortable with turning right. I’d like to spend half of practice skating the wrong way, maybe even run each drill anti-clockwise and clockwise, but sometimes it’s not possible, especially if you have a practice dedicated to scrimmaging. My back feels sore all over now, which is a nice change from just being sore on one side!

We also did a time trial each, seeing how many laps we could do in a minute. I managed to do just under four in my minute, but I didn’t crossover the whole way round, and I was pretty slow overall. It’s really frustrating because I don’t have the same fear on the track…even the thought of sliding into a wall doesn’t really scare me because I know I can tuck into a ball and not hurt myself TOO much…but for some reason I can just see all types of unholy skate-death as I’m flailing my way round the paths.

But my key advice to all has to be, do NOT wear trainer liners whilst skating. Ever! Knee-high socks are a Derby Gal’s best friend for a reason people…they look fab when they’re up to your knees, and when the weather’s hot you can ruffle them down and they stop the tongue of your skates from rubbing the HELL out of where your leg and your foot meets. Keep the trainer socks for your trainers…

I’m considering upgrading my out-door setup to a pair of these Skorpion Multi-Terrain skates because they look like they’ll work fantastically on lumpy, bumpy, root-broken paths as well as meaning that I can high-tail it across fields and beaches (not that we have many beaches round here in the midlands) when the mood takes me! I’m just dreaming of taking my dog to the beach out of season (when he’s allowed to enjoy the amenities too!) and racing him in my multi-terrain skates! Ha ha…he’s terrified of me on wheels though so he’ll probably refuse to do anything except knock me to the ground.

I’m also considering upgrading my indoor setup too…it sucks skating in Wickeds that are that tiny bit too big for you. It’d be amazing to be able just to think about my skating and not what my skates are doing on the end of my leg!

As well as outdoor skating, I’ve also been part of a CCR road trip to spread the Derby love. Sunday just gone, myself, Hustle’her, Ouija Broad and Chet Wisconsin made a trip down to Bedford to help the Bandits out with their Derby coaching. Their basic skills coach, Lil’ Joker, is an amazing skater (you have to see him reffing on the ouside of the track, skating backwards faster than the pack’s skating forward to believe it) but he asked us along to share some of our Derby strategy and drills with his ladies. I jumped at the chance to go down and see Ab Salute and her hubby, Ref’in Hell and do some yelling at some skaters!

I’ve been friends with Abs for a couple of years now and met her on a tattoo forum where my infectious chatter about Roller Derby spawned not one, but TWO UK Roller Derby leagues, the Bedford Bandits and the Lincolnshire Bombers (She’za Payne was also a member!) so I feel close to both leagues. It was brilliant to get to meet some more of the Bandits properly…

Here’s my blog for the CCR Myspace blogs:

It’s a well-known fact that the Central City Rollergirls are kind, giving, and always up for a road trip, so it was no surprise that four of us jumped at the chance to head down to Bedford to share some of our favorite drills and strategy tips with the Bandits. Unfortunately, Dorothy Pale was otherwise engaged, so Team Ninja-Coaching (aka Myself, Hustle’her, Ouija Broad and Chet Wisconsin) began the journey one member down. It’s hard to believe, but our capacity to talk about Roller Derby, skating and physical punishment (otherwise known as exercise) always surprises me, but it’s got to be the best way to spend a boring trip down the motorway. Sunday’s trip was no exception, and inbetween breaking down the previous day’s practice, our own skating ability and general league matters we even managed to work out how to best torture the Bandits with our practice plan.

We arrived in plenty of time to have hugs and a chat with Ab Salute and Ref’in Hell, the head honchos of the BBRD camp, but it wasn’t long before we were all kitted up and testing out the sportshall floor. Ab’s wasn’t wrong when she told us we wouldn’t need our pusher wheels, and we all agreed that the Bandits deserve kudos for their sheer leg strength…we were stuck to the floor faster than Chet’s usually stuck to the newbies!

Lil’ Joker was suffering some stress-inducing car-death, so we lost out on his warm-up (believe me, none of the CCR were complaining about this! Members of the London Rockin’ Rollers and the Windsor Roller Girls can attest to torturous nature of his warm-ups at our mixed scrimmages) but Ab Salute was quick to step into his skates, kicking off the session with some gruelling whips and pushes drills, finishing off with sprints before it was our turn to take over.

After a brief run through of the roles of each skating position, we set the Bandits off on the track, practicing their position of choice. Pivots were skating round low and wide, hogging the middle of the track and looking over their shoulders, some blockers were hugging the inside line, others were practicing dodging around the outside and the power blockers were also taking up as much track as possible, checking over their shoulders before doing short sprints as if they were racing through the pack. Then it was onto waterfall drills, making sure each group kept a close proximity. This drill helps skaters learn to work together when they move within the pack, and by intermittantly reaching out to touch their teammates it becomes easier to stick together in a tight pack formation.

We also went through the basics of skating low and wide for the best balance, legal target and blocking zones and shoulder and hip checks before setting up a blocking line to practice the action of both types of hits. I was really impressed (and pretty sore) when Munchin Mong and Inky Mix both managed to send me flying (both times grabbing Hustle’her for support and pulling her with me. Sorry!)…

Then it was onto the important stuff…scrimmaging! In groups of four the Bandits played some two-on-two; blockers vs. assist and jammer. In this game, one skater works to get her jammer past a wall of two opposing skaters. There’s many ways she can create gaps for her partner to get through the middle or the inside, but not around the outside of the ‘pack’.

After that there was just time for one more scrimmage game, where in teams of four, each with three blockers and one jammer, the jammers take it in turns to go through the pack. This drill gives each team the chance to work on a particular strategy; attack or defence. Each team worked hard to do their part, either trying to get their jammer through, or keep the oppositions jammer trapped for as long as possible, and in the end we only had time for each jammer to have one go each before we had to start cooling down and clearing up.

It was great to skate with the Bandits on their home turf, and even more fun to get to help them hone their skills. We were sorry we didn’t get to skate with Lil’ Joker, but it was fantastic to meet some of the team and get to know them all better on a smaller scale (it’s quite hard making friends at mixed scrimmages when there’s about 60 other girls in the hall…) I hope we get to see them all again soon for some skating action!

Oh! And best wishes to Lil’ Joker’s car…we all wish it a speedy (and cheap!) recovery!

…and phew…what a long entry! I’m going to a tattoo art exhibition tonight, run by the gorgeous Mandie Barber(there’s some pictures of my lilies on that site somewhere), so I should hopefully have some intesting non-skating stuff to talk about tomorrow!!

*acts like she never stopped posting*

Oh my GOD! I’m not even going to mention the ‘n’ word (neglect…willful blog-neglect) I’m just going to get on with writing. I’ve missed SO much.

Blame my job. I do! I think having a few weeks (months?) off skating and away from my teammates has made the biggest divide in my brain. I’ve been extremely depressed about it all; my fitness (and my fatness) has suffered and I’m finding it really hard to pull it back again. The regime has begun though…yesterday I skated, tomorrow I’m skating, Sunday I’m coaching (and skating), Tuesday I’m running (and I WILL be running…no lameo excuses for me this week!), Wednesday I’m skating outdoors (with less fear this week) and then Thursday it’s back to practice.

I’m getting tired just thinking about it all, but it’s essential really. I’m angry at my slowness, my lack of breath and my thighs of doom.

To make up for the non-writing and the sheer number of things that I’ve done that have gone unrecorded, this is the blog I wrote for the CCR Myspace about the race for life…



(…I’m the one on the left…then it’s Dynomite Bo, Ouija Broad and Hustle’her)

Besides Hustle'her, who'd already run the race for life a few times on a couple of different courses, I don't think the rest of us were certain what we were taking on when we offered to join her and raise money for Cancer Research on behalf of all of the Central City Rollergirls. We vowed that we'd keep our pace up through the entire 5km race, and so we began training together with this in mind. There's a lot of debate, but we estimate that the path around the Arrow Valley Lake in Redditch is about 1.4 miles so our aim was to get to the point where we found doing two laps around the lake comfortable. To tell the truth, they were less like training sessions and more like gossip fests, but I guess you've got to do something to take your mind off the torturous pain and chatting to your friends is probably the best way to get through it all!

The morning of the race dawned grey and drizzly, but that didn't stop us from arriving at the park over an hour before it was set to start. Accompanied by Mr Gory and Fletchie dog (who wasn't allowed to join in the race on account that he would 'trip people up'…something we tested and found to be true on a few of our training sessions) we stood around in the rain for 45 minutes before the warm-up started, feeling our coats getting heavier by the second. Luckily, the rain dried up as we were called to the start line, and Mr Gory was ready and willing to tote our wet coats (and the dog, and my spare bottles of water) while he waited for us to hit the finish. He deserves a big thank you for being our packhorse and photographer for the morning, and it was lovely to know that he was waiting for us to finish as we got in place to start the race.

Using our rollergirl prowess we shouldered our way to the front of the line which meant that we had a great – and speedy - start to our race, and I think we'd covered about 500 metres before we brought the pace back to something we were all more used to. Unfortunately, the quick start meant that I spent the first two kilometres battling the worst stitch I've EVER had (I could feel the pulled ligaments for days afterwards) so I was a royal pain in the ass to my fellow joggers, demanding that they motivate me and denying that I'd manage to keep running for the whole thing. I'm fairly certain that if I'd have been tackling the course on my own it'd have been a walk, run, walk, run, walk walk walk kind of affair, so I've got to extend a massive thanks to Hustle'her, Dynomite and Ouija. Without them to spur me on I'd probably still be walking the course now!

The course was considerably more difficult than jogging round the lake alone, and running uphill on slippery grass took a lot out of us before we'd even passed the 1km marker. You could tell it was much harder work as we all gritted our teeth and set our minds to moving our legs instead of wagging our chins, and the chatter reduced down to 'are you ok?' and 'we can do this' after a time. The first three markers seemed to be VERY far between as we crossed fields and roads before finding ourselves on familiar ground jogging round the lake, but the fourth marker made it's appearance much sooner than expected and then we were on the final 500m to the finishline. Dynomite drew strength from some unknown source and steamed ahead, sprinting the last part of the race like she'd just started it, and Hustle'her was quick to follow suit. Ouija and I brought up the rear, taking the last 500m at the same pace we'd run most of the race for…I honestly don't think I could have sprinted to save my life at that point, and it was all I could do just to keep on picking up my feet and putting them down again.

We may have been split up, but we all crossed the finsh line in about 29 minutes, and although I felt like I could have puked and passed out as I accepted my medal, goodie bag and water from the nice men in cammo, I felt an amazing sense of elation. I hadn't slowed to a walk and I'd done something I never thought I'd be able to do, and as well as that I'd done it with my friends whilst raising money for charity! Five kilometres doesn't sound like a lot, but to someone who's never run for anything other than the bus before (me) it was a massive challenge to keep going for the entire course. I'll definitely be doing it again next year, hopefully with my running-mates, and hopefully in under 29 minutes! Watch this space…



…I look horrific in this picture. BLAME THE RAIN!…root of all evil *grumbles*

So, back to the present day!

I've been getting more and more excited about the idea of league coaching. I guess it says a lot about me that I like to yell at everyone and make them do as I say...but I really don't care! ha ha...I've been on a HUGE drill-hunt on t'interweb and I've discovered so many new, fun and grueling drills. I'll be taking some of them to Bedford with me this weekend to show the bandits how to cause their ladies the most pain and apres-skate aches.

I've also been feeling more and more that although I'm a good skater I'm nowhere near natural enough on my skates. The only cure for this? More skating...and not just that, but more skating on uneven, unreliable surfaces, up and down hills, and where people can see me and jeer.

I have to say, I was totally unprepared for how much people don't give a toss about people on skates. They don't realise you can't stop on a penny, they don't realise you can't skate past them when the only room they give you is two feet of pavement on a camber that threatens to spill you into the water...they also don't realise how much hard work it is. It's easy to made snide remarks when you're wandering along enjoying the sunshine, it's not so easy when you have four wheels on each foot and you're trying to duck-walk your way up a massive hill (or tip-toe up it on your toe-stops as I was more likely to be seen doing).

It's difficult...I don't like being looked at and I especially don't like being talked about WHILST being looked at, so it's not the easiest thing for me to strap skates on and waddle around in public. However, I'm not going to be a big whining baby (as Mr Gory called me when I admitted to him I'd quit skating after just one lap of the lake while Ouija and Hustle'her were happy to do another) and I'm going to keep on trying it until I'm less terrified! Right now the sheer effort of not descending into a panic attack is enough to leave me shaking and exhausted...I can't wait for the day when I can skate along outdoors without seeing visions of myself kissing the pavement, rolling over a pedestrian, gamboling into the lake or other appropriate embarrassing and painful situtaion...

...I really don't know why I'm so scared. I fall all the time in practice!...and besides that, how many kids play on rollerskates without fear?!

I'm sorely tempted to try blading though, quads seem to dislike uneven floors as much as I do!

More SOON! xx